Toy Guns for Grownups

The battle in gun safety versus gun rights has recently taken yet another turn towards the surreal. It all started when the mayor of New York made it illegal to paint a firearm to make it look like a toy. It seems as though some unsavory types were attempting to disguise weapons by spray painting them to look like a theater prop or toy. It seemed like a reasonable measure. Unfortunately, gun advocates disagreed.

Gun manufacturers, angered by the mayor's new law, have begun to market an in-your-face response: They've begun making real guns that look like toys straight off the assembly line. I kid you not. (And the NRA wonders why safety advocates are so critical of their industry.) What's next guys, child friendly hand grips? These new firearms, painted bright colors and labeled with cheery paint coatings such as "watermelon red" have begun to hit the market. Pistols in hot-rod red, candy apple green, shiny purple, bright yellow, hot pink, and all sorts of other kid-inviting colors are being bought and sold as we speak. Some even have a little cartoon decal on them, meant to mock the mayor but all too similar to something you might find on a toy car or skateboard design. Naturally, this is more than a little concerning to us.

This means a couple things for your children:

1. Police are going to be paranoid, and the odds of an officer mistaking a juvenile prank for an actual threat are greater than ever. It might be a good time to sit down with your children and talk .with them again about the importance of never, ever, ever pointing anything at a police officer. This is especially important for teens. It only takes one playful gesture to turn an ordinary day into a tragedy, and if you've read the news lately, some trigger-happy cops in many areas seem to be having a hard time distinguishing plastic soda bottles or yellow magic markers for firearms as it is.

2. Gun manufacturers might as well have put a ribbon and lollipop on their merchandise along with a sign that says "play with me." To a child (who may or may not know how to distinguish a real gun from a fake gun) these firearms look like they could be water pistols or toy props. They are, by design and intent, made to look like a toy. They're inviting to children. Numerous gun tragedies (perhaps 20-30 percent of those involving children) start out with the same problem: a child finds a gun and assumes it isn't real. They do what they might do with a toy gun...point it at a friend and playfully shoot them. The chances of a child finding one of these new weapons and mistaking it for a toy are substantial, so make sure YOUR child knows that bright colors and a kiddy look doesn't mean its not a real gun. Teach them to never, ever play with a gun or stay around while a friend is playing with a gun. If there's any question at all, don't touch it and find an adult. Take this time to review gun safety with the many resources for children we have available on our website.

Perhaps after a tragedy occurs, gun manufacturers might come to realize that fixing up guns to look like toys wasn't such a good idea. We hope they get their pants sued off in the process. In the meantime, it's a new twist to a long-time threat. Make sure your children are aware of it.

Jamie Spears Is Pregnant-What Should I Tell My Child?

Brittney Spears' sister, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, is pregnant. I know. Shocking, isn't it? How in the world could such a thing happen when ones own sister is such a fine role-model, says you. But alas, it is true. While I fear for this child's well-being for other reasons, (play time with Aunt Brittney, brain damage and seizures induced by the flashes of Paparatzi cameras) it's the teen pregnancy that has the world in an uproar.

You see, Jamie stars in a children's show whose general audience is tweens; 7-12-year-olds for the un-hip. It appears that once again, a Spears has not lived up to parents expectations as a proper role-model. (Hey, at least Jamies not making out with Madonna on national TV...yet).

As can be expected, the innocence police have emerged full force-mouth's agape in shock at the thought of having to talk about that S-E-X word with their kids. Sex: that basic fact of life that kids aren't supposed to know about. Babies come from storks and mommie and daddy were just wrestling-little white lies lest they know about, you know...life.

While the 'sexual ignorance=innocence' myth is a popular excuse for avoiding discussions that may be uncomfortable, reality is that children aren't clueless. In actuality, it's quite normal for children to display sexual behavior or engage in sexual play. The fact is that childhood masturbation is common, and all children display curiosity about sex related issues. The fact is that even kindergardeners gossip about it on the playground, or tell dirty jokes behind their parents backs. (Any teacher could fill your ear with story after story of sexual discussions or acting out among their students). The reality is that kids are immersed with sexuality whether you like it or not; it's around them in nature, it's part of their nature, and it's lurking around every corner throughout society. Yet despite these realities of life, some parents still honestly believe that they are doing their children a favor by pretending sex doesn't exist, at least until the child is older. (Mid-forties, perhaps)

Shielding children from knowledge of sexuality isn't preserving their innocence, it's shirking your parental duties. Like drugs, sex should be openly talked about from early on, not postponed until waging hormones and teen rebellion sets in, when your parental influence will have lost much of its power. While alarmists fear that the knowledge of anything sexual will spoil children, the exact opposite is true. In fact, Sigmund Freud, the Godfather of psychology, even went so far as to declare that the suppression of sexual instinct in childhood was the root of all adult neurosis.

Instead of blasting Jamie, parents should be thanking her for the wonderful discussion opportunity. It's times like this which make ideal chances to bridge the gap with your children in talking about sex. Embrace it! Open the discussion, and talk about things like...

-Do you think Jamie has made a good decision?
-How do you think having a baby will change her life?
-Now that she has a child to take care of, what kinds of things won't she be able to do with her friends?
-What kinds of sacrifices and responsibilities are involved in raising a child? Do you think Jamies considered the full-scope of motherhood?

As always, answer their questions honestly and openly. There is nothing about life that kids "can't know about." While it may be a little uncomfortable at first, there is no logical reason you can't talk about sex as openly as you would any other subject in life. Millions of other parents do, and their children are better off because of it. You just need to slowly work through the decades of conditioning that has trained you to feel embarrassed about the subject.

If you'd rather they learn about sex from their peers, or obtain their views on sexuality through the media, then by all means, continue avoiding the subject. Cuss-out Jamie for her assault against your child's innocence. Otherwise, talk openly with your kids about sex every chance you get. Don't look at this whole teen pregnancy episode as a bad thing, but as a valuable learning opportunity.

General references:
1) The Basic Writings of Sigmund Freud, translated and edited by Dr. A.A. Brill,(1995) Random House: New York
2) Straight Talk, THe pueblo chief tan, (3-25-07) p. E1
3) Normative Sexual Behavior In Children; Friedrich, W.N., Grambush, P., Broughton, D., Kuiper, J., & Beilke, R.L. (1991) Pediatrics, 88, 456-464
4) Gunderson, B.H., Melas, P.S., and Skar, J.E. (1981) Sexual Behavior of Preschool Children: Teachers' Observations. In L.L. Constantine and F.M. Martinson (Eds.), Children and Sex, New Findings, New Perspectives, pp. 45-61, Boston, MA: Little, Brown & Company
5) Roberts, E.J., Kline, D., Gagnon, J. (1978) Family Life and Sexual Learning. A Study of the Role of Parents in the Sexual Learning of Children, Cambridge, Mass.: Population Education, Inc.

Protecting Your Kids From the Dangers of Sesame Street

Protecting Your Kids From The Dangers Of Sesame Street

Apparently, Sesame Street is bad for us. Our kids that is. I don't actually still watch Sesame Street...much. But a group of child 'advocates' (Lord help us) have come out against Sesame Street, saying the long-time children's show is actually bad for kids. As a result, the makers of Sesame Street have started putting labels on many of their older shows, declaring the program is "Intended for adults, not children." Um...sure. I guess you can't blame the company for trying to protect itself from a frivolous lawsuit.

What's the problem exactly? Well, the show depicts Bert and Ernie sharing a dirty and 'deteriorating' apartment. They say cookie monster was on the fast track to diabetes, and I swear I'm not making this up;

Oscar the grouch had depression that went untreated! But my favorite of all: The show sometimes depicts children running around or playing with "dirty" farm animals, as well as climbing on "dangerous" rocks!

I'm not sure about you, but with video games, television, or the other recreational options available, I'd rather have my children climbing on rocks and playing with 'dirty' farm animals any day of the week. In fact, this particular person (who’s done quite a bit of advocating for children) would tell you that such experiences are healthy for kids to have. They should play with lots of 'dirty' farm animals, climb on many rocks, pick a whole handful of unsanitized daisies, and frolic around in the untreated water of lakes and streams. They should head outside and expose themselves to dangerous UV rays at least daily...sunscreen applied in necessary situations, of course.

Sesame Street taught us all important values. It has been fundamental in the education of millions of children. Oscar the grouch was a character which helped children step back and learn to manage their own temper tantrums or depressive behavior. If I remember correctly, the other characters were constantly trying to cheer Oscar up, and worked hard to counteract his pessimistic outlook. (A form of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, by the way).

But no. Sesame Street is bad. But why stop there? After all, Barney teaches children to play with Dinosaurs. How safe is that? I bet if they tried playing with a real dinosaur, things would get messy. The little mermaid promotes friendship with crabs; swimming in shark infested waters, and depicts an often defiant teenager routinely breaking the rules. what about nursery r9ymes? In Hansel and Gretel, kids learn valuable skills needed should their abusive parents ever decide to abandon them in the forest and leave them for dead. Goldilocks sets a wonderful example...one can only wonder how many little girls walked into the houses of strangers because of her.

Then there's Scooby Doo. A bunch of friends, living out of their van, constantly struck with the munchies...alongside their TALKING DOG. Need I say more? Pee-wee Herman, with his obnoxious laugh and tendency to scream everything may have single-handedly inspired an entire generation of hyperactive children. (We're kidding...sort of). The Telletubbies,..well, they speak for themselves. And don't even talk to me about what was going on with the Smurfs. Living in mushroom houses...poor little smurfette being the only female in the entire village. Don't tell me she didn't have a full schedule. The Mickey Mouse Club...well, just look at how good Brittney Spears turned out.

Is all this really necessary? I can understand the outrage when an old Mighty Mouse episode aired which showed the almighty rodent doing a line of Cocaine to get power before fighting crime. Media often does have a negative influence on our kids. There is something to say about the effect of shows which glorify violent behavior. But this is ridiculous. Leave Sesame Street alone. Morons like this are the reason kids can't play tag anymore, and giving your friend a hug could get a child suspended. I think I speak on behalf of most parents when I say this:

"Come kids. I've rounded up some Sesame-Street-hating crazy people and tied them to a tree. They need to be taught a lesson. Bring your farm animals and some rubber gloves. Today we're going to learn some creative uses for a cow’s excrement."

Please visit www.keepyourchildsafe.org for child safety information.