10 Reasons to Get Your Child A Lump of Coal This Christmas
#10: with rising energy prices, it may be worth its weight in gold someday
#9: Just to see the look on their face...priceless
#8: It can be crushed into a diamond...if they work hard enough. By that time, they'll have forgotten you got them a lump of coal for Christmas
#7: It can double as sidewalk chalk...which the police can then use to trace you, after your child kills you, because you got them a lump of coal for Christmas
#6: Because somebody's child has to grow up to be a serial killer
#5: They'll be able to say that nobody else at school got what they got for Christmas
#4: Just tell them its ninja face paint and can make them invisible
#3: It may be less toxic than toys from China
#2: If the job situation keeps going the way it is, they'll have to learn cat-burglary sooner or later. So have them use it to cover all exposed skin and have them see what gifts they can find in the neighbor's yard.. Consider it career training.
#1: C'mon, do you really need reasons from us? You live with the brat.
For Child Safety Information check out www.keepyourchildsafe.org