We’ve arrived at that time of the year again: the arbitrary
day when the calendar hits “1” and we all take time to reflect upon our lives;
trying to determine where we’ve been and where we are heading. We make New Year resolutions – vowing to make
this the year we become rich and successful, or perhaps lose those 10 pounds we
vowed to lose last year.
Goals can be a wonderful thing. As the old saying goes, the shortest path
between here and there is an intention.
The problem with New Year resolutions, however, is that they tend to
revolve around existential things while furthering the illusion that happiness
will be achieved only when such and such happens in our lives. Just as
soon as I meet my soul mate; once I get that raise; when I can fit into a size
6 dress … then I’ll be happy.
This way of thinking keeps us on a perpetual treadmill,
enslaved to the idea that contentment is always just around the next corner, dependent upon some new opportunity presenting itself. Such an attitude usually leaves one searching
for happiness in all the wrong ways. As
Dr. Richard Carlson states in his book
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, “life, like an automobile, is driven from the
inside out, not the other way around. As
you focus more on becoming more peaceful where you are, rather than focusing on
where you would rather be, you begin
to find peace right now, in the present.”
(Hyperion Press, 1977, p. 134)
So we’ve put together a list of new year resolutions that
will actually improve your circumstances in the here and now, leading to a
happier, less stressful life. Even if
nothing spectacular happens in the next 365 days, suggestions will ensure a lot
more fulfillment in the year to come:
1. Throughout the next year, every time a frustrating
situation arises, ask yourself: Will this matter a year from now? If not, make a conscious decision to stress
less about it.
2. Try to focus less on seeking the approval of other;
which, ironically, tend to earn you more approval anyway. The less concerned you are with proving
yourself, the more favorable others see you.
3. Decide to stop stressing out in traffic. It doesn’t get you there any faster, and it
adds a lot of anxiety to your life.
4. Get in the habit of giving at least 3 compliments each
day to people around you. Not only will
you feel better, but you’ll probably discover others treat you better, too.
5. Be more compassionate: Come up with a list of kind things
both big and small that you plan to do in the next year (donate to charity,
hold the door open for others, etc.).
6. Every time a problem arises, think of it as a test to be
mastered rather than a crisis.
7. Stop judging other.
Not only is such a critical attitude unhealthy for your psychology, but
you expend an enormous amount of time and energy doing it.
8. Forget about diets or numbers on a scale. Just find ways to exercise more in ways that
are enjoyable. Not only will you lose
weight, but it will boost your mood as well.
9. Learn focused breathing techniques to reduce stress.
10. Start meditating; thinking deeply about your life and
what is important to you.
11. Stop and take time to notice the beauty all around
you. Pay attention to the little things
you routinely ignore, and look at what’s familiar in a new way.
12. In the upcoming year, spend more time listening and less
time trying to prove your point. Seek to
understand others before being understood yourself.
13. Be less of a perfectionist.
14. Spend more time this year doing absolutely nothing, and
thoroughly enjoying it.
15. Start a gratitude journal, recording 3 things you are
grateful for each day (or week, depending on how studious you are).
16. Try to relate to others more like a scientist. See the innocence in their behavior, and
rather than getting upset over hurtful actions, examine the situation like a
researcher studying a pride of lions.
17, Set a goal of learning X-number of new thing this year WHICH
CHALLENGE YOUR CURRENT BELIEFS AND WAY OF THINKING ABOUT THINGS. The more flexible your thinking becomes, the
less stress you’ll endure throughout life.
18. Be sure nothing important goes unsaid. Pretend you only have an hour to live and can
make only 1 call. Who would you dial and what would you say? Why wait?
Make that call this New Years (or write a letter) and repeat as
necessary until everyone important is covered.
You never know when it might be too late.
Family guidance and life issue resources by http://www.keepyourchildsafe.org/family-parent-child-help.html
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